Life After Religion: Why We Need to Rebuild the Village

Stepping Into the Void: The Isolation of Leaving Religion

Leaving a religion is more than just walking away from a belief system—it’s stepping out of an entire world. For me, it wasn’t just losing faith; it was losing community.

The decision to leave wasn’t easy, but it was right. Still, I wasn’t prepared for the isolation that followed. In the religious world I left behind, there were weekly gatherings, and shared meals (even if their support was conditional). Outside of that world, there was... silence.

The secular world didn’t seem to have the same built-in community structures. I found myself longing for connection but with no clear idea of how to find it. And as I looked around, I realized I wasn’t alone in my isolation. Many of us—whether we’ve left religion, faced a major life change, or simply live in systems that prioritize profit over people—are struggling to find the village we need to thrive.

Why It’s So Hard to Find Community

Religious institutions, for all their flaws, often fill a need for connection. They offer regular gatherings, shared rituals, and a sense of belonging. But outside those walls, there’s little to take their place.

We live in a society where the structures that make community care possible are broken or nonexistent. Accessible free public spaces are rare. Libraries, once the heart of many neighborhoods, often face budget cuts that limit their hours and programming. Parks and green spaces aren’t always well-maintained—or accessible to those who need them most.

And it’s not just about physical spaces. People are stretched thin by jobs that barely pay the bills, healthcare costs that drain resources, and a lack of social safety nets. It’s hard to build community when survival takes up all your time and energy.

What We’ve Lost

In my search for community, I’ve realized just how much we’ve lost:

• Free, Accessible Third Spaces: Places where people can gather without spending money, like well-funded libraries, community centers, and parks.

• Time to Connect: Living wages, universal healthcare, and paid family leave would give people the space to focus on relationships instead of survival.

• Shared Resources: Community gardens, skill-sharing spaces, and time banks could bring people together while meeting practical needs.

• Stable Neighborhoods: Affordable housing policies could create communities that grow and support each other, instead of being uprooted by rising costs and corporate greed.

  
  

We’ve been conditioned to think of healing and thriving as individual journeys, but the truth is, they’re deeply tied to the health of our communities.

Rebuilding the Village

It doesn’t have to be this way. We can rebuild the village, piece by piece, by prioritizing community care over profits.

Imagine a world where:

• Libraries are open seven days a week with free programming for all ages.

• Parks and green spaces are accessible to everyone.

• Public transportation connects people to their communities.

• Skill-sharing spaces and time banks foster collaboration and mutual support.

• Universal healthcare and living wages free people from the constant stress of survival.

• Communities thrive through participatory budgeting, environmental justice initiatives, and affordable housing policies.

  
  

These aren’t just abstract ideas—they’re investments in a society where everyone has the opportunity to truly thrive. In many first-world countries, systems like universal healthcare, accessible public spaces, and affordable housing already make this vision a reality, showing us what’s possible.

Why It Matters

When we invest in community care, we’re creating the conditions for healing and connection. Leaving religion taught me the value of community—and how much we’ve lost by prioritizing individualism and profit over collective well-being.

We don’t have to accept isolation as the norm. Together, we can rebuild the village and create a world where no one feels like they have to navigate it alone.

Rebuilding the Village Starts with Us

The good news is, we don’t have to wait for sweeping reforms to start rebuilding the village—we can take small steps right where we are.

For me, this began with small, intentional acts of community care. I started a crochet club in my neighborhood and joined a local book club. These groups became more than hobbies; they became spaces for connection and support.

We can all take steps to create the community we long for:

• Start Small: Organize a club, host a shared meal, or even create a group for skill-sharing. You can be the third space your community needs.

• Support Local Efforts: Volunteer at wildlife and community centers, advocate for better library funding, or join a neighborhood cleanup effort.

• Push for Change: Contact your legislators about policies that invest in people—affordable housing, public transportation, universal healthcare, and more.

  
  

My kids and I planted trees and bushes at a local wildlife center—a green third space that’s become a haven for endangered birds and bees. The center hosts community education events and field trips, creating opportunities for connection and learning while giving back to the environment. It doesn’t have to be perfect, and you don’t have to do it alone. By taking these small steps, we can lay the groundwork for the larger, systemic changes that will make a difference for everyone.

Let’s Build a Better Future Together

Investing in community care is about more than creating connection—it’s about making sure no one is left behind. When we come together, whether through personal acts of kindness or collective advocacy, we’re shaping a world where healing and thriving are possible for everyone.

It starts with us.